and again .

hello,hello .
today was okay . had better days , but today was great at some parts (:
ths morning i woke up at 8 . be surprised , be veryy , surprised . i just got back from OU though . had fun , well not tht much . went with DAD . we catched up a little , i mean we rarely talk at home and since i went alone with him and aiman we had a late lunch and he bought me my new ipanema flip flops . ((88 smetimes i thought , this dude is way in over his head to spend large amounts of money to pay for his kids shopping .i mean , i hv 6 siblings , 5 GIRLS , and all of us ask for money everyday . and go grocery shop at a total of RM300, minimum in 3 weeks . smetimes he , HIMSELF will go alone and buy stuff . and every time he goes he wnt forget my favourite flavoured cadbury chocolate(black forest HAHA) i mean . HOW DOES THE OLD MAN COPE , hm ? maybe hes used to it . and smetimes he brings us out just to show he cares <3> HEEEEE .


I feel guilty you knw ? maybe i should , maybe i should .

SITI SARAH ABD RAHMAN (:

YESTERDAY , when i was bored to death at tokma's house . well after all that mumbojumbo brooding over the whole grounded-cnt-go-anywhere-especially-curve- ,, arra clled .

and i thought she was just trying to keep me company , knwing that i really wanted to go and cried hours over it and soo ,
she said ; 'hanis,hanis dgr tau' and im like 'dgr apa ?' i cld barely hear here realizing tht she was in a big noisy crowd(curve kaan) then to MY SURPRISEE ,
there it was .

' .. AND IT STARTS IN MY TOES MAKE ME CRINKLE MY NOSE ,WHEREVER IT GOES , I ALWAYS KNOW . WHEN YOU MAKE ME SMILE PLEASE STAY FOR AWHILE NOW , JUST TAKE YOUR TIME , WHEREVER YOU GO ((:

HAH and at tht exact moment i said OHSHIT tht was colbie . and live too ;')
sweeeeet nak mati arra hbskan credit diaa to let me hear colbie sing. she knew i wanted to go .

and the song goes on .' wherever, wherever WHEREVER you go . wherever whenever wherever you go . oo whereeever you go . i always know . cause you make me smile even JUST FOR AWHILE .' i rolled a tear at that phrase . i knw to most ppl they wld say 'alaa colbie caillat je .' but hmm . it means too much to me that a friend cld call you up and waste her crdt just so you cld hear the singer sing live ,<3

i love you ARRA . (:

HANNA bt. GHULAM (:

yesterday's conversation was like any other but diff .

Hanna G. says:
okay

HANIS hmm . says:
gbye

Hanna G. says:
bbe

Hanna G. says:
i love you .

HANIS hmm . says:
incase i dnt go online ,

HANIS hmm . says:
have fun

HANIS hmm . says:
tc at curve

HANIS hmm . says:
DONT DRINK .

Hanna G. says:
you have fun kay

HANIS hmm . says:
i love you .

Hanna G. says:
i love you too .


heeeee (:

the BITCH , the LIFE DESTROYER -.-

AFTER i got over the bad day , -.-
i thought about how the whore might be like , so these are a few of maybe she'd turn out to be .

- CHEAAAAP . (duh !)
- sluttyyy and act all baby-ish and all MANJA __-___ <- this is me rolling dead . - okay maybe a little witty .
- okay this is for suuure ; young , fabulous and tak pakai tudung .
- sexyy ? maybe .
- RUDE and ruthless . BITCHYY
- GOLD DIGGERR .


haihh .wht fun life i have . and i was thinking why, oh why wld he do that ?
hes got a beautiful wife , and 6 most amazing kids he'll ever get (hehe perasan .)
maybe it's his work . or his staffs ? ive seen em THEY ARE UBERLY LAZY . worst thn me if i might add :D and to do the math , this was going on for 6 FUCKEN LOOOONG years . yeahh, i nearly jumped off th FUCKEN roof .pardon my french . and it was just last year since i knew , and to be accurate , he started when i was in 2nd grade ;O when MA was pregnant with aiman :'(

oh i wish i cld tell him how much he hurt me . how much i needed to ask him whyy , it's so stupid why im so ticked off because im a grown teenager and i knw THIS is wht men do . but he's my dad . and i cnt kill him .

and i keep telling it's okay . i knw , THERE ARE WORSE problems out there handled by weaker people . everybody has problems , everybody has pain . but we dnt have to be all that damned about it . it's like that line in that song again , ' im still here , but it hasnt been easy . im suuure that you had your reasons , im scared of all these emotions . for years ive been holding it down , for years ive been holding it down . '

i'll get through it , it gets better . it always does . :'S

ONE UTAMA . -.-

i just got back from ICC rehearsals and trust me , it aint fun AT ALL . the only part thts fun was when we danced and tht was all . OH and i met skinny/skinny jeans HAHAHA (Zain) for the first time tday (: and oh oh thnks to aina , i dnt get to go OU today ;(
haihhh . im supposed to meet naz for god's sakes . IM SO MAADD right now i could eat this whole desktop and the blogs i published ,too . GRH well anyway . i laughed my ASS off when sarah told me wht nisha said HAHAHA . okay so they were all at KLCC , (i tak pergi , grounded kaaan -.- ) okay so nisha cerita la there were a group of rempits were like pheeewit-ing at her than by coincidence she was wearing her skinnys . then HAHAHA she said 'oh no , no im not your frieeend,' (: get it ? XD

one day for another (:

hello again .
i'm happy , today (: .
naz called . complain sarot tnk angkat phone , HAHA clingy gila . she was asleep dammit ! and pastu nak kacau2 orang. memang tak aaah . then cm tension2 la ape la , heeeesh . okay so a few brief hours later ,,
nima and ili came over . we had fun , well it was okay laa . at least there's SOMETHING i cld do not alone . HAAA , well anyway they first arrived and pakai cutex , and then masak mashed potato , makan , and then went walking and went here again and PLAYed DRESS-UP hahaha . okay byk tgkp gambar bestt2 , i was wearing ili's skirt which occured to be a dress klu ltk kat boobs (: haha cooool gla . but the dress still falls of if tak inhale -.- then ili bngok sgt pergi tgkp gambar i tarik bra strap , aina pgg boobs and nima buat muka takleh berak (x HAHA funnyy funfun day . but then nima jumpa my WHITE vest then terus nak pinjam cs it so happens to match with her doll shirt and shorts . sheesh then they went home , and nima took my cutex along . tsk tskss -.-

it's life,the scarrifying roller coaster ride .

hellohello ,

ive never tried blogging but it seems that i do not have anything to do this school break and since i am grounded anyway , i cnt go out nor socialize HAHA . pity,pity, me . okay so id like to hold the privilage of storying wht happened ydaay (: okay so i went to pray , as usual .(although i dnt really pray . not at all actly -.-) but then aina and i were forced to go there . i knw ,pfffffttthhh . but dah start pray dah tau (: im proud of me hihi . okizaay then after tht Mommy dearest sent me to sarah's . well , to practice for the 29th . i noticed that she was rather heavy-hearted to send me there . haha she says i waste my time on dancing and all . i cnt help it , please dnt ask me why . okay anyway when dah sampai , i went inside (tudung still on -.- )barged masuk sarah's zoo/room , then all of em were there already . i was quite shocked laa , to see they werent dancing and instead just sitting arnd . then D suruh tukar bju cause nak pergi OU . ;O then okay , tukar bju then laalalaa pggl cab then KABOSHH sampai OU (: then came another surprise where they werent planning to go hme but nak pergi rumah arra . haiiihh okay then cll la MA , she was screaming on the phone saying i shouldnt do this and that and ifeltears running down . i mean ,we were JUST going to arra's not to drink ke , smoke ke . eeeesh paranooooid . GRRRH okay so then terpaksa pergi arra's to celebrate ummi's bday (: then after makan we all went inside arra's room la kan ,

then mmg sumpah TAKBOLEHBLA okay they tunjuk tht video ;O gersaaaaang okaay ? no im serious . parents dia ganaas doh (8 but anywaayy after tht MA called again , saying where was i and blabla kena marah lagi ;( then she said she was picking me up . i texted her and told her worst cmes worst tido je rumah sarahD if susah nak cri rumah . then shes like NO hanis .then she passed the phone to Ayah then im like whyyy ? ;( with shaky yet crying-ish voice .then he said im a liar and all . i wasnt lying at all okay it wasnt even my fault . HAIH im NOT THE ONE WHOS A LIAR HERE SO DNT YOU DARE TELL ME TO BE TRUTHFUL WHEN YOUVE BEEN LYING TO ME since god knws when . i wish i cld soo tell him thattt -.- haih then bila dah masuk the car , MA started again . and ths time i cldnt just sit there be quiet without defending myself which i rarely do . then i ckp la , i didnt plan to go to arra's place we got hungry , MA . again, the non stop salty, painful unbearable sore,sore pipe goes on (SAYA MENANGIS to be certain ). then shes like you better not cry infront of ayah . he'll go all whack . shes right . i was tortured . defenseless . lost . bitter . and the painful part was when i knew i had no one to bck me up . and ohyes, GROUNDED . for smthng i barely done -.- so , for those who has parents like mine , do note that you have NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER to defend yrself whereas you will get yesyes , G word again . so dont . you'll suffer . thanks to nazriel, he cheered me up and called several times this week but most calls tidak dilayan HAHA .

well it made me realise that how down you may be , someone SOMEWHERE will catch you , and smetimes he/she wld be the one you never expected . smetimes the closest one dnt even notice youre that depressed . and it has came to my conclusion that there are 6 billion souls in the world but smetimes all you need is one .